Dear Family -
I don't really know what to say right now. It's kinda hard for me to understand, Let alone talk. I'm the one that's shocked right now.
If only you could see me right now--I'm just tearing up at this little old computer not really knowing what to say...I don't know if I can write any other emails so I'm just going to write this one. I'm going to write dad one too and one for Spence.
The fact that they're not paralyzed, physically limited for life, scarred for life or anything and the fact that in one of the pics dad looks like he's freaking laughing and smiling along with Spencer--- I'm honestly really grateful that you guys all said that it's because of ME being out here but receiving a blessing like that for you guys from my missionary work...I just don't know if that's really from me. That's something soo incredible and I feel like I'm not even worthy to receive a blessing like that. The blessing is just soo big in itself. I mean, ya I'd like to think it's from me but I'd feel bad I just...I don't know.
You know the mission isn't easy and I don't think it will ever get easier. As missionaries we're told to never talk about these things but obviously being out here it's hard and you guys don't see and hear a lot of the things I do and go through. And I'm not alone--- I talk with friends serving and I see lot of other challenges for other missionaries. Sometimes I wonder in all honesty, " Man...what would I do if that happened to me and I knew there wasn't one thing I could do about it?" I just have to keep doing the same thing I already do everyday.
Not too long ago my comp and I were having a slow day and the thought came to my head of...is all of this worth it...? Like is it really all worth it from what I give to people and what they give me? I feel like I'm constantly putting something else more on this giant plate of sacrifice and I wonder when it will be full enough to not have to put anymore on. But then I think of the Savior and I know it will never be full enough.
I didn't think much in this. It was just when I was working out early one morning. But the reason I say all of this is because I have received my answer to a prayer that I didn't even say. I had never asked God if I would receive sufficient blessings for this mission and the things I give. So I would just go on with the usual daily grind of talking to people that knew just about everything on religion. But coming into this little ciber cafe, I know what I'm getting--or more so what I got. I got to keep my father and Spencer in my lives, and GOOD and Healthy and PERFECT as they already were (Spencer you're a stud giving a freakin' thumbs up after something like that what the heck bro?!...Dad too man!!)
So, I know what I'm going to be doing for the rest of today and my blessings for this mission. I would say my blessings have already been used up for serving in my eyes after something like this.
This email is more or less intended for all just cause I don't know if I can write all of this again to each of you.
I just want to tell you all now that...I know the things we believe in are true. I know that God is watching Every SIngle Thing in the moments they are happening. I don't know why God saved Dad and Spence from this, But if I could try to even begin to put my shoes in his I would have to say it's because they have more things to do for their growth. Perhaps not so much their growth but the growth of others. If I had to think of something it would be along those lines.
I'M BEYOND GRATEFUL that Dad and Spencer are alive and not mentally limited/paralyzed/one of the many things that was very weird to NOT have happened. I think anyone that would hear this story would say it was a miracle. I love you guys so much. Yes I love my stud Spence and I love my Dad. I'm grateful to say I'm not fatherless or without a brother. You two are some tough people. Spencer I hope you can hear me when I say that! God had to try EXTREMELY hard to not only keep you two from dying, but also to keep you perfectly the way you were before. I cannot nor could not keep myself from saying that this would only mean that God does not just have big things more for you to do, but that they are uniqe in purpose and can only be done by you two. Now is the time to simply praise and thank God, and find out what it is He wants us to do. Spencer I will write another email to you on mom's email but I would openly invite you so the fam can help you out to prepare to receive your Patriarchal Blessing. I have read mine here in Argentina many times and it's not that long, but I have found many new meanings to personal problems and questions that I have had.
I'm glad you're alive and you're all back to normal. But please take this and ask yourselves why this would happen. Take the time to think about WHY God wants you here. Some of the general and more easily perceived answers you may be thinking of like Spencer serving a mission and Dad as well, our future families etc. are true I wouldn't doubt it. But God has seen every perception possible, and I wouldn't doubt He wants you to see some of these things and possibly others in a different light. I feel the spirit very strongly right now and would strongly invite you to do these things. Pray and Ponder while reading the Scriptures. I love you all so much and I can't wait to email you guys again next week. Stay strong and as Kelsey says and said to me...God is good....remember that....haha until next week fam!!:)
Love your son and brother,
Elder Kohler Chamberlain
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